Cycle of Violence

Domestic Violence is about Power and Control. The violence is a way to assert power over others.

Phase One:  (Tension Building)

The need for power and control, a history of family violence, and learned behavior are some factors underlying battering behavior.  For some men, phase one begins with anger, blaming, arguing and increased tension.  It is followed by phase tow, the battering incident.

Phase Two: (The Battering)

This may be a one time slap, push or punch, or it may be hours of repeated beatings and ritualistic terror.  Repeated hitting slapping, kicking, choking, use of objects, with aspects of weapons used to further injure or threaten the woman’s health.  Verbal threats and verbal assaults.  Sometimes sexual abuse is also present.  In some situations, phase three follows.

Phase Three: (The Calm)

With the increasing nature of battering incidents, this stage may decrease or disappear.  When it is present, he is often apologetic and overly sweet.  He may deny or minimize the battering, say he was drunk, buy gifts, flowers or do something she has been unable to get him to do.  He often will promise never to hit again or blame the woman for causing him to lose his temper.

Many battered women (and their children) recognize the behavioral pattern of the male partner and attempt various coping mechanisms to prevent or decrease the severity of impending battering.  Usually no matter what the woman attempts to do to prevent the battering, she is still battered.  Many battered woman fear retaliation, feel guilty or worry about economic pressures when attempting to leave a violent male partner.  Leaving is also when she is in the most danger of losing her life.

Physical Abuse/Battering

Battering is a pattern of behavior performed to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence.  Batterers frequently deny the existence and severity of their violence, often blaming their partner for provoking the behavior.  Domestic violence crosses all social, economic and cultural lines.

• pushes or shoves you
• hold you to keep you from leaving, or locks you out of the house
• slapped, bit, kicked, or choked you
• hit or punched you
• bear hugs
• thrown objects at you
• abandoned you in a dangerous place
• refused to help when you were sick, injured, or pregnant
• subjected you to reckless driving or kept you from driving
• raped you
• threatened or hurt you with a weapon

Emotional/Verbal Abuse

• attacks you verbally for asking questions
• responds with negative body and facial expressions
• ignores your presence
• responds furious at small trespasses of daily life (react in ways that are our of proportion to what’s going on)
• ignores your feelings
• does things such as throw or drop papers, food, clothing on the floor and walk off for you to get it up
• ridicules or insults women as a group
• insults your valued beliefs, religion, race, heritage, or class
• withholds approval or affection as a punishment or just to be nasty
• criticizes you, call you names, shouts at you
• insults your family or friends (when they are not around)
• makes insulting inferences of you to his friends or family
• humiliates you
• refused to socialized with you
• keep you from working, controlling your money, makes all decisions
• refuses to work or share money
• take car keys or money away
• regularly threatens to hurt you or your family
• punishes the children when he (or she) is angry at you
• threatens to kidnap the children if you leave him
• abuses pets to hurt you
• manipulates you with lies and contradictions
• hides or destroys your personal property

Sexual Abuse

• makes demanding remarks about women
• treats women as sex objects
• is jealously angry
• insists you dress in a more sexual way than you want
• minimizes the importance of your feelings about sex
• criticizes you sexually
• insists on unwanted touching
• withholds sex and affection
• calls you names like “whore” or “hoe” or “frigid”
• forces you to strip when you didn’t want to
• publicly shows interest in other women
• has affairs with other women after agreeing to monogamy
• forced sex
• forced particular unwanted sex acts
• forced or insistent sex after a beating
• committees sadistic sexual acts

Although some items are clearly more dangerous than others, almost all of them are potentially dangerous, and all show a lack of respect and an effort to intimidate and control you.  One problem with accepting a curtain level of abuse is that there is a tendency for the abusive person to interpret it as permission to escalate the assaults into more dangerous and frequent acts.

In Females

• Change in appointment pattern.  Either increased appointments with somatic, vague complaints or Frequently missed appointments.
• Uncertain or fearful of making decisions without having to ask her partner
• Visible injuries or bruises that are recent or fading
• Under pain or anti-depressive medication
• Appearance of sore, stiff movement
• Self directed abuse, depression, attempted suicide
• Severe anxiety, insomnia, violent nightmares
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Complaints of Jealous, possessive male partner
• Frightened of partner’s temper
• Defends partner’s behavior (“rescues”)
• Hit, slapped, kicked, shoved or had objects thrown at her by partner
• (For some women) Abused as a child or seen mother being abused
• Has a Restraining Order or has had a Restraining Order against her partner

In Males

• Explosive temper
• Criticizing and denigrating female partner, frequent “put downs”
• Controlling of female, attempts to control assistance/help care setting environment (may arrive unexpectedly)
• Breaks, throws objects when angry
• Makes all decisions on money and family
• Seems overly charming and affectionate, yet instance seems awkward
• Overprotective
• Jealous, suspicious
• Has hit, slapped, pushed partner
• Alcohol or drug abuse
• Witnessed abuse as a child or was abused as child
• Has had prior involvement with police for DV or other violent incident

In Children

• Child abuse, unexplained injuries, scars
• Somatic, emotional and behavioral problems
• Violent behavior (particularly in boys)
• Sleep disturbances
• Difficulty in School, poor attention span
• Complaints of headache, stomachaches
• Increased fears
• Stuttering
• Nervousness
• Nail biting

Brief Characteristics Of Some Men Who Batter

• Poor impulse control, explosive temper, low frustration level
• Insecurity and emotional dependence
• Miseducation as a child (“taken care of by women”, little or no responsibility, lack of or improper modeling and/or little governance of attitudes, values and behaviors)
• Lower self image, lower self esteem and lower self worth
• Poor social skills, social isolation
• Ineffective/poor communication thoughts and feelings
• Jealousy, possessiveness
• Violence and other abuses in previous relationships, history of violence in family or origin
• Many believe in all the myths about abusive relationships.  Example: battered women deserve to be hit, women are crazy, battered women cause the abusive behaviors of their partners, etc.
• Belief in male supremacy and stereotyped masculine sex role in the family
• Often blame outside influences for his abusive behaviors.  Example, you made me hit you with your talking, …I had a hard day, or you questioned me,  …I was drunk,  …society made me do it  …etc.

Domestic Violence Statistics

(National, local, impact on individuals, families, health care, workforce, etc.)

1. Domestic violence ranks as the number one public health risk to adult women by the Surgeon General.  Women are significantly less likely than men to become victims of violent crime; however, while there are male victims of domestic violence, women are far more likely to be victims of domestic violence, than men.  95% of the nations reported cases are female victims.  For this reason, my training will focus on abuse against women.
2. Domestic violence and child abuse account for about one-third of the $450 billion spent on crime each year, a large number of emergency room visits and related costs (AMA, 1996).
3. An alarming fact is a woman is physically abused by her husband every nine to fifteen seconds (National Coalition Against DV, 1996).
4. In a national survey by Gelles & Cornell, it was determined that “one sixth of married people have engaged in at least one act of violence against of spouse each year” (1990).  Thus of the over 51 million married couples in the United states at least six percent are involved in serious violent forms of behavior (Sullivan, 1997).
5. A third of all women’s injuries in emergency rooms are no accident.  In fact, more babies are now born with domestic violence-related birth defects than from the combination of all diseases and illnesses for which women are immunized (Link to Invalley).  Abuse harms not only the women but often the babies since they are more likely to be born underweight or premature (Link to Usatoday.com.life.health).
6. 25% of pregnant women are battered. (Evan Stark & Anne Flitcraft)
7. Domestic violence also affects women psychologically.  A 1997 study reveals that women who have been abused as children were more likely to have psychological problems and those still abused as adults had the highest risk of mental illness (Flitcraft, 1997).  The financial implications of domestic violence include 175,500 missed days a year from work, which cost Americans $67 billion dollars a year       (Link to Invalley).  Thus domestic violence affects women emotionally, physically and financially.  It has a devastating effect in loss of lives as women are three times more likely to be killed by a spouse than men.  Four women are killed by their partners daily (Kendall, 1997).
8. 63% of boys from age 11 to 20 years of age who commit homicide, killed a man who was abusing their mother. (Uniform Crime Reports, FBI, 1987)
9. Unfortunately, domestic violence also affects women and girls in high schools and colleges.  36% of students in high school study reported some form of violence in their dating relationships.  On our college campuses, one in five couples experience some form of violence while courting (Sullivan, 1997)
10. The most vulnerable population according to Wisconsin Criminal Justice statistics is the African American female, who represents 65-70% of all victims of domestic violence in the state.  In addition, 40% of homicide victims of domestic violence were African American (dsmd.state.alus/acjis,dv96.html).
11. The City of Milwaukee Police Department responds to over 1200 calls of domestic violence each month in the city of Milwaukee.
12. Milwaukee County District Attorney’s Office reviews 12 to 15 thousand new cases of domestic violence annually.